do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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