"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
