North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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