I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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