Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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