good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
