Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I woke up under a house in Key West
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