addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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