ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize