So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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