Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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