i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
