I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
