Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
