Do you still have your period?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
