She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize