can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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