Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
