I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize