You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
