Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
