You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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