So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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