I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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