I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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