not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
