Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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