it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
