I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
