I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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