that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
