Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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