I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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