You work out of a Hotel?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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