whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
