You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize