one two three fourrrrnication!
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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