why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
