I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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