By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
