He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
