And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
