well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
