Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize