I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
