I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
