She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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