ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
