Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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