woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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