The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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