lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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