Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
