Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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