I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
