i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
