it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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