Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
