you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
