Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
