"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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