Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
