I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
