paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Are we still banned from the library?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
A+ Viking dick
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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